It is that time of the year again. Summer is behind us and we have entered the fall and winter seasons. The clocks have turned back and the weather has cooled. If that isn’t enough change, most of us celebrate 4 holidays up to the New Year! That is a lot of change! As much as we enjoy communing and celebrating, the holidays do come with some level of stress. This can be especially challenging for our neurodivergent children. Whether your child has ADHD, Autism, Anxiety or Sensory Processing Disorder, it is important to consider everyone’s needs as you make plans during this holiday season so everyone can enjoy themselves.

Here are some holiday suggestions so you can plan ahead:

1. Try to stick with your self-care schedule as much as possible. Kids generally do best, when they stick to their daily self-care routines. It can be an anchor at the start and end of their day to re-center them. This means going to bed and waking up at the same time, eating balanced meals at regular times, and brushing teeth and bathing at regular times.
2. Bring familiar items with you if you won’t be at your house. Again, the holidays come with a lot of novelty and this sometimes can overwhelm kids. You can consider bringing toys, blankets, books, food, or anything else that will make the child feel more comfortable while visiting friends and family.
3. Share with your kids the events that will happen and also discuss what you don’t know to allow for some flexibility in their thinking about the novel events. It can be helpful to let kids know what activities they will be doing and who they will be doing them with. Showing them pictures of places and people can also be helpful. It’s really important to also let them know about the unpredictable by using “maybe” or “might” statements. Example: “We are going to your Aunt Margaret’s house for Thanksgiving. We are going to leave after breakfast and it will take 3 hours to get there. When we get there, you can go out and play in the yard and then we are all going to have dinner together. Some things might happen that we don’t know about. We might get stuck in traffic or it might rain. We will come up with a new plan if that happens.”
4. Have an exit plan if needed. Sometimes things just become too much, even when we have tried our best to make sure the holidays as successful as possible. This means you may have to arrive a little later than expected or leave a little earlier to reduce the stimulation and demands that are becoming too much for your child. You can also go into a quieter room to do a preferred activity or go outside for some movement and fresh air.
5. Know your child’s tipping point. Some kids can handle lots of treats, candy, screens, and high intensity play, and then return relatively quickly to a calmer state, while for other kids, that can send them right into a spiral, turning a fun event into a sad ending. You know your child best so even though it’s supposed to be a fun, care-free experience, you may have to put a limit on items and activities that historically cause overstimulation.
6. Ask for support and help. You don’t have to do the holidays alone and bear through them. Ask the people you trust for help. It might be helpful to have a conversation before you arrive about what your child’s needs are so that family and friends can be prepared ahead of time. Whether it is making them special food, playing with your child while you socialize, turning down the music, or not insisting on a hug, asking for support can make the day a lot more enjoyable.

May you all be safe, healthy, and joyful this holiday season!